Had to turn that tv off

It’s all about have a nice day but I ruined it, tone is harsh again, trying to explain myself, dissociated, like taking a really boring acid trip that isn’t amazing or pleasant or different, just a deeper level of hellish conversation, like oh shit it’s happening again. I am trying to explain the weird autistic psychosis I go through but I literally have no soul left and it’s like gears that aren’t lubed scraping against each other. I drink even though it doesn’t help anymore, took my meds, my psych meds don’t help, literally every day I fall apart more and try to rely on medication still but I guess my side just doesn’t have any soul and I’m getting skinny then fat and won’t have a body soon too. Fat then skinny, diabetes, pain, stomach acid, meditation, medication, yelling like a monkey, left out of the black contraption.

Published by: Elaine M

I’m a magical 44 year old who bargains she will experience joy and happiness someday and has aversion to the great pain and suffering from the past, who longs for the enlightenment of all in a gentle and loving way.

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