Super angry

I feel ugly, like my hatred to myself is as of it is towards the people that possessed me. Like I’m ugly like the Jessica that remote controls me and makes me think things that will incriminate me or cause me to do evil things, because I thought them out of anger that I once again am possessed with a thing that always benefits, is better out of some assumption that it is good and I am evil, therefore it possesses me and out of duty or obligation as to because I am who I am, Jessica after Jessica tries to cause me fornication or make me literally insane and unworthy because I do not appreciate it. Now I look in the mirror and look like an ugly soulless demon because I think she is an ugly thing which is not good yet reaps all the benefits of it’s observations that it is a functioning not sinning much evil and conscienceless person who does not recognize its acts in the realm of the spirit. Also it, the Jessica is always around me, I always know one, and when I accept it’s prescience in my realm, I’m always sorry because it turns on me and causes me day after day of misery and unhappy thoughts that may have consequences in my reality. The reality I know that is mine doesn’t seem to be around me, now I have just experienced a brain freeze. Literally they would take it all from me, even thoughts I may have been intended to think, thoughts I would think, or peace I may experience. My head is like a game of mad libs where I complete each resentful thought with a thought that won’t incriminate me in the realm of the spirit because what I want is good. I want partners that don’t make me want to poison myself, a content life where my thoughts are my own and of the type I would normally have and my own sense of enlightenment, a face that looks normal and not like a satanic salesman {neither of which I am or can do} and to do my job with minimum pain, chaos, and peace of some type in what I am and what I can do. Minimal symptoms of mental illness. Blah. Meh.

Published by: Elaine M

I’m a magical 44 year old who bargains she will experience joy and happiness someday and has aversion to the great pain and suffering from the past, who longs for the enlightenment of all in a gentle and loving way. Email me, elaine@reversekundalini.net

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