Help, I’ve become an asshole

I was happy, then I was sad. Now my annoyance at customers appearing to mock me, repeating miscommunications over and over, taking up my time, in sync with symptoms of health issues and possible withdrawal issues, phantom death, phantom possession is not a coincidence, drawing these long awful occurrences over long calls in which they annoy and anger me all while trying to maintain a good tone is hard. It’s as if they have no problem, they call to mock me and make a communication as If I have a purpose other than tech support. I’ve gotta work with my body and mood and I was headed for disaster today. The bipolar manic before lunch and after lunch is more than I can bear today. I’m saying my prayers that I didn’t sound as mad as I felt because I’ve always been able to hold in anger, not let it come out. Is that my higher purpose? To have massive feelings and never let them out? Is that gods work for me? I’m doing a shit job. Trying to stay stable and maintain is a constant effort, but I’m not super schizo today. We’re all mad here. Please excuse the mad

Published by: Elaine M

I’m a magical 44 year old who bargains she will experience joy and happiness someday and has aversion to the great pain and suffering from the past, who longs for the enlightenment of all in a gentle and loving way.

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