I’m so incredibly depressed today, for no reason. Yeah these callers seem to curse me and cause my life to be in upheaval, turmoil, because they make think weird stuff that “comes back on me” somehow. I guess to a certain extent I’m responsible for my own thoughts, but as a schizophrenic I’m not. I like to think I have powers sometimes and sometimes I don’t. If I had any power I’d remove my mom from my mind entirely, my daughter could be ok, and I wouldn’t be psycho, depresssed, maybe meds could make me happy even. Maybe I wouldn’t have to be wasted to get five min of happiness. Just a little would be enough. It’s a fucking pickle. I’d completely get rid of assholes and the need for them.