Dear great mind in sky

What is your perspective on me? What are your reasons why I am unworthy, cannot get better. What makes me weak? The sims ive asked you for forgiveness for and fought until I bled? Why is my life pain and why have u judged me so harshly and never allowed me to be satisfied, even as I sought you out at every turn? I don’t believe you are without power to help me, but what was your reason for never giving me grace and allowing me to make mistakes I pay for time and time again? Allowing me to be another identity that stalked me and took my entitlements? Enjoys my services in this world while I am wretched, poor, can’t connect to another human being, and surrounded by the enemy? I am not satisfied with being good and you won’t allow me to be good, but when I turn to wickedness first satisfaction you punish me as if I am and the truly wicked who caused this sin and dissatisfaction are deemed worthy. I don’t have worthy friends, all I have are enemies and evil energies, spirits, firnication and temptation comes from them. I cannot be Christian because the earth is evil but I ask your forgiveness constantly in a worthless endeavor. I was never entitled to work honestly and I’m damned to do poorly at every turn, constantly embarrassing myself, forever feeling shame. When I do achieve something I cannot enjoy satisfaction in it. I fall, to such depths, I’m ashamed and have to ask for help again and again, I’m dependent on you and u give me the bare minimum. Barely a smile. Don’t threaten me that I will sin again. Your awareness of me is a curse, I deserve happiness not the wrath of all higher powers.

Published by: Elaine M

I’m a magical 44 year old who bargains she will experience joy and happiness someday and has aversion to the great pain and suffering from the past, who longs for the enlightenment of all in a gentle and loving way. Email me,

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