Evil up evil

I said my prayers, I confessed to the lord, I committed a sin, and now I’m in physical, emotional and spiritual pain more than ever before, I’m afraid i will never be forgiven, u guess I was selfish to look out for myself seeking forgiveness when so many ppl out there never seek it out, don’t suffer to the extent I do and I’m truly at the point where I believe I do not believe the lord wants me to be happy, thinks I deserve peace or happiness, and I cannot be forgiven and only deserve death for the schizophrenic bad intentions I’ve had due to thoughts that were placed there due to my pain which I have to pay for.my good intentions as well as my bad intentions make me suffer, there is nothing but suffering, my friends and family are the enemy and my boyfriend is even acting like one. He criticizes me to his mom, he fucking is way more excited about trip he’s taking with his mom than trip he’s taking with me and he’s taking the trip on our anniversary. I hear them watching all “our” shows together. I don’t want to live with moms forever. Let me out. I want someone I can trust. All my life it’s great fun to damn Elaine and make her jealous. So sorry god gave u all your gifts.

Published by: Elaine M

I’m a magical 44 year old who bargains she will experience joy and happiness someday and has aversion to the great pain and suffering from the past, who longs for the enlightenment of all in a gentle and loving way.

Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s